Hey! It feels so good to be back. I've missed making videos and talking to you guys soo much, but I definitely had to step away to deal with a lot of my own issues. I'm trying to push myself to stop letting my insecurities control my life, so here I am! I've struggled with my weight for a really long time - gaining & losing - over and over again. It's because I struggle with binge eating and food addiction. It's difficult to explain and I'm sure it's hard to get your mind wrapped around it for those of you who have never had it. But I've used food as a way to cope with trauma since I was 18 and little did I know it would get out of control like this. I've lost weight before so I know I can do it again, but I need to approach it differently this time. In the past, I've restricted my eating, over-exercised, became obsessed with food logging, calorie counting, calorie burning, weighing myself up to 10x per day, etc. Dieting became another crazy obsession/addiction and it was sooo awful for my mental health. It was a never-ending cycle that ended up into regular binges and now I'm back here! So I'm going to try to find that balance that I've always wanted... eating mindfully & intuitively, listening closely to my body, and incorporating healthier options + home cooked meals. I'll be taking small steps/changes at a time and I'm open to switching things up in 2-3 months intervals (if I need to). I'll be weighing in at the beginning of each month. For exercise, I'm going on 30 minute walks but looking into adding another 30 minute at-home low intensity workout. I don't have a goal weight. I don't have a clothing size goal. I just want to make myself better: heal mentally & emotionally.. and to be overall healthier.
My goal for this channel is to film real meals that I eat. I want to prove to myself that I CAN eat the food that I enjoy WITHOUT bingeing. Also I really want to find the right balance between healthy & guilty pleasures. I know this is opening up the flood gates to MAJOR criticism, but I'm going to do my best to do well in the way that works for ME. Thanks for reading and thanks for sticking around. WISH ME LUCK!
Love, April
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